this just made me laugh out loudly for the past 20 minutes: sleep talkin’ man is the blog of a british woman who records her husband sleeptalking. she then posts the funniest quotes.
some of my favourites:
“Can you hold… can you hold my starfish? It doesn’t like it when I’m getting excited. Oh look, it likes you! Its legs are all cree-py cree-py.”
“You can’t be a pirate if you haven’t got a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules.”
“We haven’t got a plank. Just fucking jump.”
“Oompa loompas don’t sing in heaven. They tidy up the clouds.”
“I can’t control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!”
“Put it down! Step away from the yam. Step away!”
“Yeah. Don’t forget to dry-clean the baby.”
“When did you turn into a bug? Strange.”
“Oh, we’re going to be late for the pogo ballet, stop it!”
“Look out! Marshmallows!”
when asleep, adam (the husband described as being mild-mannered while awake) has a different vocabulary, and is not very fond of vegetarians.
if you think somebody made this up, there’s a youtube clip of the couple’s first tv show appearance